


Misrepresented

by What_A_Weird_Rose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, Angst, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Fifth Year, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter Live, Lesbian, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Same-Sex Marriage, What-If, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:53:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_A_Weird_Rose/pseuds/What_A_Weird_Rose
Summary: Sirius Black is almost to gay to function; Remus Lupin is almost to sarcastic to function; Peter Pettigrew is almost to oblivious to function; and James Potter is just along for the ride.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr., Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> All Rights Reserved  
> All Characters belong to their respective owners
> 
> Started: 6/16/2020  
> Finished: ?
> 
> !! If you see any form of mistake, whether that be editing of in-universe facts, or even IRL facts (Im American, although I did try my best) please leave a comment. Also, please make *constructive* critique. Thank you. !!
> 
> Warnings  
> Editing: Mild  
> Gay: Yes  
> MATURE THEMES:  
> This includes references to sexual encounters and sexual experiences as well as violence  
> Please Read At Your Own Risk.

**Remus sat still, occasionally folding his hands and wiping the built-up sweat on his jeans. Typically, Remus Lupin would have no such problems, he was seen by the student body as the calmest Marauder. However, Remus was definitely not in his normal state of mind. Realizing you have a massive homosexual crush on your best mate can do that to you. Or maybe, that isn’t the best term for it, you see, Remus -and his mother, Hope- knew he was gay, or at least, not as straight as a board. So, perhaps it should be: ‘Remus finally admitted to himself that he was very much romantically attracted to Sirius Black’.**

**And to be frank, he loathed himself for it. It was the 1970’s for crying out loud, and no matter how much he hoped and prayed, Homosexuality was bad. Even in the eyes of the Wizarding world. He had heard passing comments of people calling others “Gay” and “Fag” throwing them around like they meant nothing. And what came to a heart-wrenching discovery, it wasn’t just Slytherins like Malfoy or Avery. In reality, Remus had heard it from everyone -excluding the civil Professors- including the people Lupin’s fellow-gay-radar went beeping-off on.**

**So, rightfully, he was scared.**

**Scared to tell a professor. Scared to tell James or Frank or Peter or, Merlin forbid, Sirius. No** . If anyone found out Remus John Lupin was anything but straight he’d be burnt at the stake.

**And that's where he found himself late one night, swaddled in a knitted blanket one of his Hufflepuff friends made for him, drowning himself in sorrow. His hands shook furiously in the cold Gryffindor dorm as he bundled the blanket closer to his thin frame. Remus, ever so slightly, lifted his hand robotically to look onward toward the lump that was Sirius. Heaving out short snores and slow breaths, the disowned Black rolled over onto his back, coughing out a sigh of relief. Unknown to him, however, Remus watched silently, fearing any sound would wake him from his peaceful slumber. The young wolf synced his breathing with that of the sleeping dog, he forced his eyes to close for at least a moment, hoping the dark bags under them would poof out of existence. He found himself clasping one of his almost frost-bitten hands over his mouth, as if he would spill all his filthy-little-secrets to the world. And with his forearm he covered his eyes, refusing to give them another chance to look at the sleeping beauty. Then he laid down, his back against the thinly sheeted mattress, a shallow stream of moonlight filtering through the slit of his curtains which had previously been carelessly pulled back to gaze upon the brightest star known to man. And he finally fell into the grasping arms of slumber.**


	2. Tutor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Rights Reserved  
> All Charcters belong to their respective owners
> 
> Started: 6/16/2020  
> Finished: ?
> 
> !! If you see any form of mistake, whether that be editing of in-universe facts, or even IRL facts (Im American, although I did try my best) please leave a comment. Also, please make *constructive* critique. Thank you. !!
> 
> Warnings  
> Editing: Mild  
> Gay: Yes  
> MATURE THEMES:  
> This includes references to sexual encounters and sexual experiences as well as violence  
> Please Read At Your Own Risk.

Remus woke up in the early hours of the morning, not even the sun had risen on the horizon. The boy quietly pulled back the curtains that effectively hid him and set a gentle hand on his nightstand. His fingers danced in the dark for a matter of seconds before stumbling into his wand. He let loose an incoherent sigh and mumble, recalling the time that the other three Marauders stole his wand to pranks Snape with -which ultimately did not work. The young Lupin rubbed his tired eyes before grumbling a messy “ _Lumos_ ” and allowing his wand’s tip to glow with the beautiful small white light. Climbing over mountains of dirty laundry, sprinting through valleys of stolen treats and other goodies, and crawling through caverns of what Remus could only hope was not James and Sirius’ sweaty Quidditch garments. The boy reached the end of the journey, looking back to see his bed -which looked much closer than he remembered it being- he entered the bathroom, glad he woke up before the others.

Remus had taken a step into the room after closing the door and was already hearing the annoyed groans of his friends as they begged him to “Please let me have a minute to flush myself of all the alcohol I had yesterday” as James put it. Remus inwardly giggled, it wasn’t him who told James to down three bottles of Firewhisky, no, that was Marlene -who had already had at least twelve shots of some concoction made by Alice. Remus stood in front of the mirror, the small morning candles -that Lily insisted would relieve his stress- lighting his reflection with a warm glow. He sighed, ignoring the pitiful hungover cries of James as an equally hungover Peter tried to comfort him. Running a hand over his face, Remus blinked; then squeezed his eyes shut tight before reopening them, he found himself doing this often. The theory was that if he wished hard enough he would turn into someone else. Sometimes a really hot guy with no lycanthropy, who was absolutely not gay -and _not_ crushing hard on their straight best mate. Other times he would wish that he could be turned into an absolutely stunning woman who Sirius couldn’t _possibly_ not fall head over heels for and then they would get -legally- married and be happy with three kids and two dogs and live in the countryside and- he snorted. How could he possibly believe in such witchcraft, of course he was a wizard, and he could change into someone else, but that would all be an illusion. And what he truly feared wasn’t Sirius loving someone else, it was that Sirius would finally see him for the monster he really was and leave him all alone. And every God known to humankind knows that Remus couldn’t bear the weight of something like that. 

Minutes seemed to pass like hours as Remus de-clothed, showered, brushed his hair and teeth, and then, at-long-last, returned to the sweaty smell of the “Marauders & Frank’s Room”. The moment Remus opened the door he berated himself with questions as to why he seemed to _always_ forget to bring his Gryffindor Uniform into the bathroom. And then he remembered it was because Sirius didn’t like that and would steal his clothes every morning until Remus stopped. It was a weird thought to have, not wanting your friend to change in the bathroom. But Remus always narrowed it down to Sirius never wanting to part with any of his friends, ever. 

It was like an apocalypse movie scene, where the main characters are in a pickle and all-of-the-sudden a new, even cooler, more badass character walks in to save the day. Except Remus was anything but ‘badass’. The very second his bare foot touched the floor, James’ cold fingers grabbed his ankle, dragging himself towards Remus as if he were dying.

“Mooney, I’m in so much pain. You have no idea what it's like to drink so much firewhisky you-” James cut himself off to dart into the bathroom, he heaved himself to the toilet, and from there vomited like he had never done so before. Remus whipped back, facing into the dorm room, gagging as the silent stench crept up to his face and nose. It seemed, quickly, that Peter, too, had been affected by the God awful smell as he ran from the dorm into the hallways -and by default into the common room, as there wasn’t anywhere else to really go. 

Remus found himself quickly swallowing the acid that was creeping up his throat, and in a quick turn, he slammed the door to the bathroom -trapping James with the smell, in turn- tearing through his trunk until he found the holy grail his mother had graciously given him after hearing the horror stories of the awful smells in the boys’ dormitories. 

Remus lifted the cylinder canister and pressed the top of the bottle. At first it hissed before spitting out a soft stream of air freshener into the arrotious smelling room. He revealed in the fresh aroma of lavender, and stuffed the bottle back into the trunk nearest his bed. With a small smile he grabbed his fresh Gryffindor House uniform, walked to the corner of the room and began changing. 

-

After pinning his prefect badge to his robe, grabbing his wand, and checking his book bag for all his textbooks, he spun around and began his descent down to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

On his way out of the dorm he made a quick note that James had finally crawled out of the bathroom, and Sirius had made no sign of getting out of bed any time soon. So, Lupin did what any responsible friend would do and grabbed Sirius by his ankles and dragged him -quite literally- out of bed.

“Let’s go! Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Time to start another dreadful day of learning how to live like a human being. Aren’t you _so_ _very_ excited?” Sirius replied with a loud groan resulting in James groaning back.

“Did you hear that, Jamesy? Remmy-cake-moon-pie thinks I’m beautiful!” Sirius, still very drunk and asleep, began giggling uncontrollably.

“Really? I didn’t gotta see it! I wanna see it! Remmy-pie, say it again.” It was clear to Remus that James was simply messing with him at this point, feeding into Sirius’ nonsense. However, for once it seemed that Remus didn’t care, one may even go on to say he was entirely unbothered by the silly remarks his friend was making. Perhaps this was because Remus had finally gotten over the fact that James had a particular ability to read between the lines, _very quickly_ . Or maybe, Remus was unbothered because he couldn’t possibly hear James’ wit over the piercing sound of Sirius begging Remus to, ‘ _find the chicken and free the poodle_ ’. And, of course, James wasn’t any help as he sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, laughing hysterically.

“Oh Remus, you wouldn’t believe what the poodle said next! You wanna know? You wanna?” Sirius continued grasping his arms around Remus’ waist as Remus tried -and failed- to walk away. Sirius was dragged awkwardly around while James continued to be of little help and Remus continued to fail escaping. At long last it seemed a savior arrived in the form of Peter, who had gone to the Great Hall and returned with breakfast. 

The short boy nudged the door open with his foot -that still bared his bunny slipper- and wattled into the room. In his stubby hands he balanced two trays, one on each of his sides. Resting on each was two plates with diverging meals. One had eggs and toast and fruit, while another bared pancakes, eggs and an apple. With the arrival of food, the chaos quickly fizzled into quiet banter and the sound of Sirius playing with his food. Just like always.

-

It took mere minutes for the four boys to devour their breakfasts and begin genuinely starting their day. Starting with James showering while Peter collected all their uniforms and Remus sorted through their textbooks. Second and third was Peter and Sirius showering, _separately_ , Peter added. James and Remus were the first out the dorm-door, Remus holding the bottom of his book bag as it was overflowing with the quartet’s collective textbooks and notebooks that Remus made a ‘ _Big bloody deal about not letting us hold our own shit. Apparently throwing books and Sniviellus is mean and cruel._ ’ Remus could feel himself internally chuckle at the memory. James laughing loudly, practically heaving his three satchels worth of crap into the outstretched arms. Sirius did the same, although more prolonged as it took him nearly an hour to run around the castle, hunting down books and notes and ‘ _all that other stuff Mickey-G said I need_ ’ as he put it. Peter was the most considerate, he even offered to help, taking the four’s quills, ink pots, and loose parchments in turn.

As James and Remus made their way through the first passing after the moving stairs, they heard the undeniable sound of thousands of feet stomping towards them, the sound magnified by the echo-y, cave like nature of the Hogwarts walls. Remus couldn’t help but halt, sucking in a breathe as the beast bellowed an echoed,

“ _I’M COMING FOR YOU!_ ” Remus turned swiftly, his eyes peeled for a being to put with the voice, yet there were only shadows dancing on the walls. Well, that was until a tall, large shadow tore through the others, gaining mass as it approached the pair. Remus could feel James grab his arm, as if to pull his along in case they were forced to run. 

The beast turned the corner and made a beeline towards the two, causing James to screech like never before. As the beast came closer, it seemed to trip over a loose parchment on the stone floor, and toppled Peter Pettigrew from the shoulders of Sirius Black.

“Not funny!” James yelled, whacking Sirius over the head.

“No definitely not funny,” Sirius was finding if very difficult to breath through his laughter, “No, it was bloody fucking hilarious! _Oh_ , you should’ve seen your face Jamesy! It was all like-” Sirius continued to mash his face in strange, unnatural positions.

“Alright children, let's get to Transfiguration before McGonagall skins us alive.”

“Aye-Aye Captain Moony!”

-

“Good Morning, Mc-Goggles! What’s on the lesson plan for today?” Sirius was practically laying on the table, wide-eyes glued to the tall, slender woman in green. 

“Mister Black,” Professor McGonagall began, her eyes feigning softness and mercy, “get off my desk.” Her tone was laced with a sharp ice as she whacked the young boy on the head with a rolled up parchment.

“Yes ma’am,” Sirius scurried away back to the protection of James, Peter and Remus, all of which were trying -and failing- to contain both their laughter and second-hand embarrassment.

Sirius sat next to James in the front row -having their seats assigned there so McGonagall could keep an eye on them- the pair poking each other with their wands, laughing and overall making Minerva McGonagall question her choice of profession. 

Meanwhile, Peter sat next to a Ravenclaw girl on the far left of the classroom. And it seemed, from Remus' perspective, that he was attempting to flirt. Although, he _was_ judging this conclusion based solely on the fact that the poor girl seemed to be slowly inching away from the very awkward advances of the boy.

Remus shook his head, turning to the front of the classroom, acknowledging that McGonagall seemed to be collecting last week's written essay on ' _The Practical Uses of Transfiguration_ '. He leaned over grabbing the six scrolls from the bag labeled "REMUS" that Peter had given him as they had walked in. When he had reseated himself, his scrolls sat neatly in front of him, he turned to his right to look at his desk partner, Lily Evans.

Lily had been a reliable source of not only stability -in comparison to the chaos of The Marauders- but also a reliable companion, someone who genuinely enjoyed studying, and someone he didn't have to explain complex concepts to, she just _got it_ . Thinking of her in that light, it made sense why James had such a thing for her. Not only was she incredibly smart and wise, she was beautiful and charming and witty and kind. And she was the only one in Hogwarts who he was willing to trust with a secret that scared him as equally as his lycanthropy. He was _gay_ and Lily Evans was the only person who knew.

It wasn't that Remus liked keeping things from his friends, no he _really_ didn't. However, Remus had been conditioned from a very young age to be a phenomenal secret-keeper. He wasn't good at lying, but dancing around issues and feigning ignorance was very much his speciality. He had had to learn it very young.

The only person who seemed to see through his façade was Lily Evans. She herself said,

"Mister Lupin, I appreciate that at least _you_ have your assignment completed, maybe you should tutor Black and Potter." 

Wait. Lily never said that.

Remus looked up, his eyes locked with Minerva McGonagall's as the woman lamented about how James and Sirius needed to sharpen up if they expected to pass their O.W.L.S for the year. His eyes widened for half-a-second before responding with a choked,

“Oh-oh, um, yeah, yeah, sure.” He ended his trail of mumbling with a short, awkward cough. 

“You know,” McGonagall looked between Sirius and James sitting in the very front, to lock eyes with Remus and Lily in the very back, “You four -yes, Potter, that means you too- meet me after class, I wish to speak with you.”

McGonagall left no room for discussion as she quickly spun back to pace back to her desk, all the while announcing the lesson plan, Remus could hear Lily audibly sigh.

“Why me, Merlin? Why me?”

-

Transfiguration when by like a breeze, although, that was to be expected as it was a review day. Going over the month’s lessons to prepare the students for a ‘ _Shit-ton of boring assignments and practical uses and essays that don’t really make all that much sense,_ ’ as James often phrased it.

Remus finalized his last note, ending the neat cursive with a small dot. He gave a quick smile to Peter as he neared, the stubby boy mopping ever so slightly. 

“She didn’t work out, Pete?” The question seemed awfully familiar, as Remus had basically had it burned into his brain, it was so commonly asked.

“Well at first she seemed so uninterested. . . But then I mentioned you, James and Sirius and all-of-a-sudden she perked up, and started asking about us -no, I mean- _you three_ . More specifically Sirius. I- I, we kept talking,” Peter mumbled a bit, and Remus sat back up from grabbing his satchel, noting the new presence of Sirius and James, who were listening intently to Peter’s story. “We kept talking, and I tried to keep her interested, just like you said James! But it was no use, in the end I failed to get a date.” Peter sighed and stood up, grabbing the quill and ink and parchment bag from Remus, his eyes looked dim, as if he were on the verge of tears. “I think I’m going to skip History of Magic, I’ll be in the dorm.” He swung the tote over his shoulder, his head dropping ever-so slightly. That was until he stopped suddenly, speaking barely above a whisper, turning slightly towards Sirius. “Oh, Sirius, I nearly forgot to tell you. You’ve got a date with Jane Croque from Ravenclaw, if you want, of course. She wanted me to relay that message.” And with that Peter stalked away, his shoulders slumped.

“Whose Jane Croque from Ravenclaw? Is she hot? Is she like hot-smart or, like, smart-ass-smart?” Sirius asked, turning to James, who replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Jane Croque from Ravenclaw is the girl Peter has been talking about and pining over for two years now. He’s been trying to get her attention since day one of third-year. How could you two forget?” James ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“Well, we usually just tune out whenever Pete starts talking about girls. He gets so mushy and it's kinda -ughak- y’know, Moony?” Sirius rolled his shoulders after standing up to turn to McGonagall’s desk in the front of the classroom. “Anyhoo, wish me luck, boys!” Sirius began strutting up to the wooden desk, Remus noted that from closer inspection it seemed to be at least a thousand years old.

“Hello, Minnie, now I understand why you’d like to _see me_ after class, I mean, look at me Minnie, really understandable. But these three plebs as well, I mean, _honestly_ Minnie, you could do so much better!” Sirius was grasping McGonagall’s hand in his own two, his smile was so wide that his cheeks were pushing his eyes close.

“Black, let go of me before I use _Duro_ on you.” McGonagall snatched her hand so it could accompany its twin to cross her chest. “Now, let us all be-” She stopped abruptly to look Sirius in the eyes as he grinned a malicious sort of grin, she sighed, “Potter, Black. You two are frighteningly skilled with all different types of magic. Potions, charms, transfiguration, herbology, it's almost terrifying how talented the pair of you are. The only issue is your physical grade -I swear Mister Black I will make you regret every and all of your life choices if you say a single word- by that I mean your essays and written, or reading, assignments. You two could be at the top of your peer’s grades, _head boy and boy_ , yet, you two seem to lack motivation to do anything but the practical, hands-on, physical, casting the spells, brewing the potions, working with the plants, type of work. Now, I have an assignment for the two of you. This will out-rank all other assignments, and should be your top priority, yes?”

Sirius and James stood dumbfounded, hanging on her every word. They nodded.

Lily looked rather uncomfortable, as if she wasn’t even meant to be there in the first place, Remus couldn’t help but agree with her on that front.

“You two _will_ work with your House prefects to find a way to help improve your grade. Remember two things, one, your practical performance can only take you so far in a real career, and two, O.W.L.S are just around the corner, you’ll have to pass if you intend to make it into the Auror’s office.” McGonagall spun around, turning to grab a large stack of parchments, of which she promptly began sorting through. 

James and Sirius looked at each other for a moment, taking in the fact that they had never shared their occupational-plans with their professor. Remus shrugged and turned towards the exit of the room, if he speed-walked he might make it to potions only a few minutes late. He swung his satchel over his shoulder, holding tightly onto the leather flap. He noticed, in mere seconds, that Lily seemed to have had a similar idea, as she tied her loose red-hair into a ponytail, and began making a bee-line towards the door. Lily, Remus noted, was a very fast walker. She could walk as fast as most people could jog, he assumed it was years of practice avoiding James.

The moment Lily made it to the door, her hand grasping the metallic handle, McGongall spoke in her mildly-angry-but-not-detention-worthy, angry-voice.

“Evans, Lupin, where in Merlin’s name do you two believe you’re going?” Remus could practically smell the snickers of James and Sirius as they huddled, hunched over.

“Professor McGonagall, with all due respect, if we stay here any later than we already have, we're going to be late to History of Magic, and I would _hate_ to miss such a-” Lily sucked in her pride, “Such an _interesting_ class.” McGonagall raised an eyebrow, Remus looked at Lily, and she at him. And they mutually decided what McGonagall had in store for them was far superior to whatever Professor Binns was going to drag on-and-on-and-on-and-on about today. “Okay, give it to me.”

-

It was as bad as it could have been, it could have been cleaning the hippogriff stalls, or sorting through all of Slughorn’s ingredients, _all_ of them. Remus concluded that having to help tutor James Potter and Sirius Black was much better than doing either of those things. On the brightside, he was doing this with Lily, and that meant they could reasonably test their sanity levels off one-another. He was already losing it.

Remus had never quite understood how truly dreadful Madam Pince had it. He had always thought that she was just a grumpy-old-lady with OCD and anger issues, but then he sat through it.

James didn’t even bother to show up, forcing Lily to hunt him down. And Sirius was, well, he was singing at the top of his lungs, and dancing on the tables and grabbing stacks of books and hiding them around the library. And his singing wasn’t even that good, it was more of an obnoxious noise over anything else.

“Sirius! For the love of Merlin! Would you shut the hell up!” Remus could vividly remember Regulus Black yelling at his brother, in his hand a random book Sirius had picked up. Remus could remember Sirius dancing around Regulus; Sirius jumping on tables, shaking his ass at Regulus; and over all simply just embarrassing Regulus. All until the poor boy groaned and stormed out of the library.

“He’s got to get a new sense of humor, Moon-Moon.” Sirius stated, matter-of-factly, he had finally settled down, sitting next to Remus in the corner of the library. It was Remus’ favorite spot, farthest away from people. He had really hoped the isolation would motivate Sirius to be calm and _finally_ get at least a start on his charms essay. “Mooney, after this do you wanna go to Hogsmead? I know we couldn’t go yesterday with all that homework collecting we had to do for McGo-Go’s little tutor thing-y, but I heard that Zonko’s has something new in, and I’d like to mess around with Filch.” Sirius whispered, his face a mere inches from Remus. Remus could help the blush he received. He was lucky it was a dimmer corner.

“You know what I would love, Sirius?” Remus questioned, grabbing Sirius’ hand, he could visibly see Sirius' eyes shoot wide, then his eyes began to close as Remus’ face neared his, “I would love to finish this charms essay before noon.”

Sirius sat dumbfounded as Remus leaned back in his chair, spinning his quill between his fingers.

“If you finish at least this essay, it's only two parchments, I’ll _take you and slam you against the table and shag you without a second thought_ , how does that sould, Sirius?” Sirius couldn’t help his wide-eyes stare at Remus as the words echoed in his brain, ricocheting around in his mind, launching into his heart, making him all warm and fuzzy inside. He nodded vigorously. 

Remus stood up, exposing Sirius to the werewolf’s six-feet of height. Remus raised his arms, folding them behind his head, stretching. They _had_ been there for a little over an hour. After stretching his lanky-limbs -as James likes to label them- Remus took a casual seat next to Sirius, as one’s friend might do. But Sirius couldn’t help but walk on eggshells around him, he had never felt like _this_ . It was new. And he wasn’t sure what to make of this feeling.

Remus was one of his bestest-mates, but there was something elevated about him, something that, no matter how awesome and hospitable James and Peter were about everything -they let him practically live with them most of the time- they could never even fathom reaching. 

It was like Remus was a God, and James and Peter were Kings and Sirius was their subject. Of course, he bows to the Kings and he’d do anything for them, but there was something that eternal drew him to the ethereal glow of Remus. Something that made his heart start beating really fast, and he would get dizzy if he looked at him for too long without sitting down, and he would get really nervous, sweaty palms and stuttering. But the worst thing was the sickness. The absolute sea-sickness he got knowing that for as long as he lived, Remus Lupin would be cursed, and ostracized from the rest of the world. And Srius could do _nothing_ . 

“Sirius? Are you even listening?” Remus turned to him, Sirius, and tilted his head. Sirius shrugged, he felt guilty, he didn’t want Remus worried over grades that weren’t his own, he was stressed enough as it was. Remus sighed, “Are you even trying to focus, or is this just a silly little game to you? I genuinely wan- no, I need to know. I need to know that you’re really wanting this. Or it's a waste of time for the both of us.” Sirius looked up from the floor, he hated the sound in Remus’ voice when he got like this, the sound of utter betrayal. Sirius could never figure out whether Remus intended to sound like it or not.

Sirius’ eyes caught Remus’, he looked like a sad, beaten down puppy, who had been standing in the cold, dark night-time rain. But nothing in Sirius' entire memory could ever hurt him as much as see the face of Remus, his friend, his God, his Swear-Wolf. 

The dim library light highlighted little to nothing. However, at the angle that the two were sitting, the candle light did highlight one prominent Remus-feature. His scars. 

-

It wasn’t just his scars, no. It was the tired, dark bag that hung under his eyes from restless nights. It was the hollow cheeks from the inability to eat without hurling. It was the raw, fresh scar that ran from his left ear to his collarbone. It was the desolate look that shadowed his eyes, that clouded his irises with sadness and despair. And it almost took Sirius a moment to realize that Remus wasn’t in front of him anymore. Instead, his arms were wrapped around his neck, in the kind of warm embrace only a jumper-wearing werewolf can do.

-

The two stayed like that for at least fifteen minutes, better referenced by when Lily showed up, dragging James along with her. Remus had heard them a few isles away, and wordlessly, he gently released his hold on Sirius, petting the boy’s black hair down, and turned to the essay.

“What do you say we finish this?” Remus had asked, his heart still warm with joy.

“I would like that very much.” It was difficult to see in the poor lighting, but Sirius’ face was a shade of pinky-red, contrasting awfully with his bad-boy aesthetic. He had tried to hide it when Remus had first broken their embrace, but he had found so much joy in the gentle feeling of Remus running fingers through his hair. The soft, almost air-y feel of Remus’ hand gliding ever so delicately over his cheek.

“ _I found him._ ” Lily growled before laughing maliciously. Sirius turned, whipping around to face the -almost- terrifying sight.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen James so scared before- Oh, hey Pete!” Sirius jumped up, referring back to his old jumping around, playful ways.

“Um, James, you’ve got a little situation down south?” Remus whispered as James took his seat, nearest to the wall.

“Shut up, I just- she- she scared me and-”

“And you pissed yourself?” Remus was choking down a hysterical laugh.

“I- I- No! I was running, and sweat.” James coughed out, turning his attention to dig through the mess of his bag.

“Oh, yes Potter, I’m sure they’re just your sweaty jeans.” Lily chuckled, the once quiet corner was now filled with uncontrollable laughter.


	3. Regulus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Rights Reserved  
> All Characters belong to their respective owners
> 
> Started: 6/16/2020  
> Finished: ?
> 
> !! If you see any form of mistake, whether that be editing of in-universe facts, or even IRL facts (I'm American, although I did try my best) please leave a comment. Also, please make *constructive* critique. Thank you. !!
> 
> ***This is a shorter chapter, but it had multiple mini parts***

Remus hadn’t felt like this for what seemed like forever. This intense feeling of cloud-nine, this lightness that had almost seemed to be smeared by his full-moon nightmares. Remus couldn’t help how much he enjoyed his newest assignment given by McGonagall. Not only did he get to spend even more time with three of his closest friends -Lily, James and Sirius- but he also got extra credits for all the trouble. All as long as at least one of them, James or Sirius, got at least one _Outstanding_ on their O.W.L.S Remus won.

It was worrying at first, Remus had to admit that the pair were dynamic in their constant attempts to get out of studying, but that was all in the past. It had taken a mere threat on their lives by Lily and they had yet to even be more than five minutes late to study-session.

Individually they were perfect pupils, listened well and jotted down what was told, together, however, they were a nightmare. Rowdy, uncooperative, and always vying to out-do the other’s last disruption. Lily had been the first to have to deal with them alone. Remus had been tasked with showing a transfer student around the castle. When she returned to the common room; returned to the safety of Remus’ almost sanity, she practically collapsed, begging him to take over all the ‘simply awful’ battles she had been losing. She had even gone so far as to swear she would buy Honeydukes’ entire chocolate supply if she would never be forced to deal with the pair alone again. 

It took much patience, and one to many time-outs, to finally get the two to mellow out long enough to write the first potion recipe, and even then, they were throwing scraps of paper at each other. Remus sighed, “Alright, you two, I think that's enough for today, yes? I’m sure you're both very tired from studying so diligently, yes?”

James nodded vigorously, his left leg was bouncing rapidly, it was obvious to Remus that he was already too far gone in his head to learn anything else. Sirius, on the other hand, was still caught on the parchment he had been scratching his quill on since the beginning.

As soon as Remus nodded his head off-handedly James made a beeline out the large library doors. His eyes shone with passion as he sprinted toward the Quidditch field.

“You seem down.” Remus stated as he grasped at the large stack of books he hoped to get them through that session -he should have known. Sirius gave a small shrug, his eyes downcast towards the ink-lines that danced his parchment. “Is there something I should know, Sirius?”

Remus sat the books back down, opting to sit in James’ discarded chair. Sirius was refusing to look at him, and Remus felt a guilty pin drop into his stomach, deflating the once happy feeling. He had nothing to feel guilty about, genuinely, Remus had stayed in his own lane, and had even been helping Sirius. So why was it that Remus suddenly felt as if every bit of pain Sirius was in was caused by him.

“Regulus.” Sirius mumbled, setting down his quill, leaning back in his chair with a sorrowful sigh. “I- I tried talking to him the other day, y’know tried to be friendly, but- but as soon as I said it, he started screaming at me. It was probably because we were alone. He didn’t feel that Black Family needed to keep up appearances with me. . .” He sucked in a shaky breath.

“The other day?” Remus asked gently. It was strange how down in the dumps he was. Usually Sirius brushed off the negative interactions with his ex-baby brother as being emotionally charged. However, something about this confrontation felt almost _real_ to Sirius, how much it made him want to hurl thinking about it.

“It was two days ago, actually, and I guess what he said just hadn’t really sunk in yet,” Remus wanted to pry, to ask more, but Sirius was already continuing on, “It just slipped, I saw him passing by the corridor alone and it just came out, I guess.” Sirius ran his hand over his face, “I saw him coming closer, and his face was in a book, like always, and I just- I just I watched him pass, and felt so nostalgic that I just- it just slipped and I said: ‘Hey, Reggie.’” Sirius’ voice dropped to a whisper as he recalled the events, his heart was pounding in his chest as his blood ran cold. The memory was ever so vibrant.

“And I guess he just snapped. He must have heard me because he threw his book down and started berating me about how ‘inappropriate’ and ‘rude’ it was to call him that. And at first I was confused because I was like, ‘what is this boy talking about’ but then I saw it, Moon.” Sirius had been almost unrealistic, his arms flying around, and yet somehow by the end he was doubled over, hands covering his eyes, “He was crying Moon, Regulus was crying, and it's _my_ fault.”

_Flashback to January 26, 1977_

_Regulus Black had done nothing wrong, never in his life had he ever intentionally ruined something for someone else. So why was it that everything that could go wrong in his life, did go wrong in his life._

_First, it was being second born, which he could look past if his brother wasn’t such a flaming idiot -quite literally, Sirius once thought it was a good idea to light himself on fire, just because._

_Next, it was being scarred by the image of his Mother and Father trying for a third little cobweb baby._

_Then, it was the trauma of Mother’s beating and Father’s blatant alcohol abuse._

_Eventually, it was Sirius being sorted into Gryffindor, Regulus in Slytherin, watching his Mother take all her daily frustration out on Sirius. Knowing his Father was lying in bed drowning himself in liquor._

_And then, last but not least, was the cold, dark nights locked in his bedroom alone, knowing Sirius Black, his brother, the only genuine family he had was off living with James Potter. Off being happy. Off enjoying a warm, cozy evening with the Potter family. Off with the brother Sirius had always wanted._

So, perhaps Regulus’ reaction to Sirius calling him _that_ name was a little extreme. One may even call it extra. But to Regulus, his reaction was plainly and simply just. To him, Sirius had absolutely no right to call him by that pathetic childhood nickname. To him, Sirius had absolutely no right to sound so damned happy to see him in that poorly lit corridor on that rainy morning. And to him, Sirius had no right to feel so emotional, so upset by what Regulus had said to him. Why? Because it was all true.

Regulus had been minding his own business, quietly reading his Charms textbook while he made his way to the Slytherin Dorms, all the way in the dungeons. To be entirely honest, Regulus hadn’t even realized Sirius was there in the first place, he simply acknowledged the presence and moved on. But it was eerie, how the stranger seemingly stopped all bodily function to stare at him, watching silently as he passed by. Regulus was even almost out the door when he heard it. When the name echoed off the stone walls and into his brain. To Sirius, it was out of nowhere, a surprise attack on Regulus’ part. But to Regulus, it was simply complying to all of Sirius’ years of ‘ _Relax Regulus, no need to save face all the time_ ’. So there he was screaming mindless words at Sirius, his textbook disregarded on the shockingly clean floor.

“What the hell did you just call me?” Regulus yelled, it was almost concerning how empty the corridor still was at this rate.

“I just said hello! Am I suddenly not allowed to greet you?” Sirius replied, though he was far less offended then Regulus usually saw him as.

“No Sirius, you don’t get to greet me! Not any more!” Regulus let the yucky words hiss out.

“Well why not? I’ve done nothing wrong.” That was it. That ignorant little sentence was it. The last straw. One might say before Regulus was angry, now he was fuming.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, _nothing wrong_ ,” he mocked, he didn’t even feel in control enough of his own body to close a bit of the distance between Sirius and himself, “How about for starters how you used to dye my hair bright neon colors for seemingly no reason. Or maybe how you would jinx me on a daily basis for the first week of third year. Or, if we want to delve deeper, maybe it's because since the day I was sorted into Slytherin you have done nothing but your absolute best to make my life a living hell. Those pranks are nothing when compared to how you would give me dirty looks in the halls. Or when I was in second year and you told that seventh year girl that I had a crush on her.” Regulus spun around, grabbing his textbook.

“Or perhaps its because whenever I’m around, you go out of your way to shove it down mine, and everyone else’s throats, that _Potter_ is and always has been your _fucking_ brother.” He could feel the tears build up and fall down his cheeks, “I hate myself, and it's all your fault, Sirius.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You For reading, I don't really have a schedule for writing, but I'll try to keep everything pumping out! Have a good rest of your day/night!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You For reading, I don't really have a schedule for writing, but I'll try to keep everything pumping out! Have a good rest of your day/night!


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